“We should be the role model of our child to achieve this goal…”
This week I would like to bring your attention to parenting. Parenting seems to be changing according to the trends and styles of the present world. It’s become a competition. The child’s development is greatly influenced by their parent’s values that are set forth. It is important to give our children a good start. And it is also important that we should know that our kids come into the world with their own temperaments. And we should prepare them to be self-sufficient and be dependent on themselves and stand on their own feet.
There are few principles in every walk of life and if we follow them, I am sure we could live a happy life. Parenting nowadays isn’t easy. In earlier days the old generation that is our parents lived in joint families and they had many siblings to grow up with. Even my generation was lucky enough to get able guidance and support from our parents to bring up our kids. But nowadays life has changed and it’s become a nuclear family and families live away from their parents. So parenting has become a bit of a strain. If we follow the four C’s in parenting, it could be very helpful. Care, Consistency, Choice, and Consequences are the main 4 C’s. By giving Care to our kids we express our affection and acceptance. By Consistency, we help them maintain a stable environment and help them grow with a strong and firm mind. Through Choice, we teach the child to be self-confident, to become independent and make them think and act themselves. Through Consequences, we help them to make choices on positive and negative things.
No parent is perfect and it is not important to be perfect to be a good parent. A parent always strives to make decisions in the best interest of the child. What’s most important is that we should know no child is perfect either. So we should set our expectations accordingly. We should be the role model of our child to achieve this goal. We should set high standards for ourselves first and then apply it to our kids. Every human being loves to imitate another. If we want our kids to inculcate good values. There is no use of telling them to do things, we must show them what should be done. We must first respect our child and show them a positive attitude and positive behavior. We must also have empathy towards our child’s emotions. Our kids will imitate us, parents, as they keep watching us very carefully.
We must express our love to our kids. Its true there is a famous saying “Spare the rod and spoil the child”. By spanking your child, issues are not resolved instead only fear is installed. And the child is motivated not to get caught the next time. We must practice positive discipline but must avoid severe discipline. We must be kind, but firm when we enforce rules on them. Love will never spoil your child, we must choose how to express it. Material indulgence, leniency, overprotection does not mean love. These are the things that spoil your child. Spending quality time with them, listening to their issues with patience and expressing your love with warm hugs mean a lot to the child. It helps them release feel-good hormones. And these neurochemicals help them feel calm and content. The child develops to regain his or her confidence in their parents and themselves. A closer and stronger bond is built with the parent.
Talking to our kids and reading to them from infancy or in fact from the time we conceive makes a great influence on the child’s development. When the babies are born our actions and thoughts determine a lot on them. We must talk to our kids and listen to them. It helps the child to be more open when there is a problem. We must try and install positive experiences with them. Try and solve problems together with a positive attitude. It will help the child to move forward with a positive approach. We as a parent must try and understand the reason behind the kid’s behavior. We should make our child know that we will be always there for them. And the most important aspect of being a good parent is to teach them the moral in what is wrong and what is right. We must accept our child as an individual and make him or her feel warm and safe. Parents who are consistently responsive to their kids tend to have better emotional development and social development. We parents should maintain our children’s health and safety by promoting their emotional well being, instilling social skills and preparing them intellectually. The family bond is a very important factor. It’s very important to keep a strong bond with your spouse because if we fail in that it will affect your child badly.
There are a few disadvantages too in parenting. One is overparenting and the other little parenting. Overparenting doesn’t help the child because as the child grows up he gets dependent on the parent. And isn’t able to cope up with even small setbacks. Little parenting is lack of parental engagement it doesn’t help the child either. The child gets dependent on his peers and others. So we must try an be an apt example to our child. Be a guiding friend, a loving parent with a firm hand and who will be there to give a patient ear when in need